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Autism Behavior

The Difference Between ADHD & Autism

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Autism and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) are both neurodevelopmental conditions that affect a person’s ability to focus. Both conditions can appear the same when you consider a child who is struggling to sit still, pay attention, and concentrate for long periods of time. Because of these deficits, autism and ADHD ultimately cause struggles with social skills and communication with others.

While they may share external behaviors, there are distinct differences between the two conditions that set them apart. ADHD is marked by impulsivity, forgetfulness, being constantly on the go, interrupting, and difficulty following directions or staying on task. Autism, in general, is commonly marked by deficits in communication, inability to make eye contact, and repetitive verbal or physical behaviors.

Some Key Differences Between ADHD & Autism

Sensory Issues

Children with autism tend to have more sensory issues than their peers who have ADHD. Sights, sounds, smells, textures, and various environments can be overwhelming to a child with autism. This is not to discount the fact that children with ADHD may struggle with sensory issues as well. However, it is more frequently seen in children with autism.

Speech Issues

ADHD & Autism

Speech issues are another distinct difference between ADHD and Autism. Most children with ADHD follow a typical developmental time frame with speech, while children with autism can very often be delayed in speech development. In fact, some children with autism can remain non verbal indefinitely.

True to the nature of autism being a “spectrum” disorder, there is always a range of severity when it comes to the deficits that are characteristic of autism. With regard to speech development, while some children with autism are extremely or indefinitely delayed- others are extremely advanced in their speech. Children with high functioning autism are often referred to as “little professors” because of their advanced speech and hyperfixation or obsession with certain areas of interest. Children with ADHD do not typically display deficits in speech and language skills.

Perseveration

Perseveration (super focus or obsession with a topic) is common with children who have autism. This is most notable when they obsess on a topic or an activity so persistently that they cannot seem to transition to any other activity or topic of conversation. Children with ADHD have a greater tendency to move from one activity or topic to another rather quickly due to their impulsivity and limited ability to focus on one thing for an extended period of time.

Non-Verbal Communication

Children with autism have difficulty with non verbal communication and often need to be taught to recognize facial expressions, gestures, and body language in order to respond appropriately when the people they are speaking with become bored, frustrated, or upset with the conversation. Children with ADHD have similar communication deficits but many of their communication deficits are due to frustration or intolerance with non-preferred environments or tasks which can lead to inappropriate behaviors such as verbal aggression, physical aggression, or meltdowns.

Body Movements

Finally, one of the biggest differences between ADHD and autism is body movements. Both of these conditions come with a lot of activity and body motion. Children with ADHD are often described by parents, educators, and physicians as “driven by a motor”. These children are constantly in movement from one thing to the next. Children with autism tend to move their bodies with repetitive motions in order to soothe themselves. This usually presents itself in rocking motions, hand flapping, pacing, and other repetitive and unproductive movements.

In general, it could be stated that many of the traits of autism are internal while ADHD is more external. However, this would be a heavy generalization. The best summation of the similarities and differences between these two conditions is that while they share many traits- autism presents extra challenges in teaching appropriate social, communication, and behavioral responses.

Can you have ADHD and Autism together?

To put it simply, yes you can have ADHD and Autism together and this is frequently the case with many children who are diagnosed on the spectrum.

“ In a recent nationally representative sample from United States, in children diagnosed with ASD, the rate of comorbidity with ADHD was 42% and the rate of comorbidity with ADHD and learning disability (LD) was 17%, resulting in a 59% total comorbidity rate of ADHD and ASD[5].”

you have ADHD and Autism together

It is important to be aware of this statistic because this combination can result in additional challenges that need to be addressed, and they can be! In a comparison study of children with only Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) and children with both ASD and ADHD, the children who were diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD “showed higher symptoms of anxiety, worse working memory, and less empathy, as measured by the “Reading the Mind in the Eyes.”(RMET) The RMET is a diagnostic test for measuring a person’s ability to “recognize complex mental states” by observing the expression conveyed through another person’s eyes.

For children who have both ASD and ADHD, the increased anxiety, memory deficits and lack of empathy can make intervention and assessment more difficult. 

Why do kids with ADHD act out?

Children with ADHD are tightly wound and fast moving. Not only do they move fast in a physical sense, but they also tend to move fast mentally and emotionally.

kids with ADHD act out

Some of the most commonly observed traits in children with ADHD are quick tempers and their tendency to be easily bored. Children with ADHD will often have short, quick bursts of interest and then move on to something else. When there is nothing else available to them to keep their interest and activity level moving forward, these children often display negative or inappropriate behaviors.

In addition to this, children with ADHD are impatient and easily frustrated. When these children want access to something interesting, they want access immediately. If something is boring or repetitive, they may argue or act out to get out of the boring or repetitive activity.

These emotional responses can be difficult to work through. Especially in conjunction with autism. Many parents will simply allow the child to get out of completing a task or behaving inappropriately just to avoid tantrums and upheavals. However, allowing a child to get their way by acting inappropriately only serves to reinforce the inappropriate behavior.

So, what can a parent or caregiver of a child with ASD and ADHD do to work through some of these behaviors?

How can I help my child with ADHD and Autism?

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is the number one method of treatment for children with autism and other neurological and developmental disorders. It is the most recommended form of behavioral therapy because it is an evidence based science that has helped countless families for decades. 

Based on the work of B.F. Skinner and the principles of operant conditioning, ABA is used to reinforce socially appropriate behaviors and reduce or eliminate socially inappropriate behaviors in order to facilitate a greater quality of life for children with autism and for their families.

Circle Care Services in New Jersey is an ABA agency that works with children and their families who struggle with the effects of autism and other pervasive developmental disorders. At Circle Care, we help children with autism to increase social skills, communication skills, and even academic skills. By learning expected and socially appropriate behaviors, children with autism and other neurological deficits are able to enjoy the benefits of joining their typically developing peers in the classroom, in the community and in all of the various social settings that we are exposed to on a daily basis.

At Circle Care Services, we have highly skilled professionals that are ready to help you and your family with a customized treatment plan right away. Call us for a consultation now!

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Getting Haircuts For Your Child With Autism

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Hair salons are busy places that are filled with noises whether it comes from idle chatter between stylists and customers or stylists blowing a customer’s hair dry with a hairdryer. The smell of shampoo may not affect most of us, yet it could be very significant to a child with autism.

What about the decor? Televisions, posters, mannequin heads, lights, plants, hair, and nail swatches, and the list goes on…

Finally, the hairdresser’s station is filled with tools of the trade. Combs, hot irons, hairdryer, scissors, electric razors that vibrate and buzz. What looks like a typical salon to most of us may look scary and dangerous to a child with autism who has sensory issues.

Haircuts And Autism

These two words can bring tears to a parent’s eyes at the thought of having to endure the stress, the embarrassment, and the trauma that seems to be a faithful companion to autism.

Getting Haircuts For Your Child With Autism

Children with autism often have high levels of anxiety when it comes to events like haircuts. This anxiety is often associated with sensory issues and fear of the unknown.

It is difficult for a typically developing individual to imagine what it must look like, sound like, or feel like to be subjected to an environment like this. Many children actually look forward to visiting the hairdresser so they can watch a movie and get a reward at the end of the visit. For children with autism, it may take a little bit of strategizing to get them to this point.

I want to speak with a Professional Behavior Therapist.

Thoughts And Ideas To Consider:

Your number one goal when it comes to getting your child a haircut is to find a hairdresser that loves kids and has patience with kids. We have all heard (or experienced) the horror stories of haircutters who gave up and sent a screaming child home with half of a haircut because the tantrums from the child were out of control and it was becoming dangerous to use scissors on a flailing screaming child.

A child-friendly haircutter will know how and when to approach a child. They will know how to work with parents to accomplish the task and they won’t become impatient or cruel with a child.

Even more important than the hair cutter is to prepare your child for the experience of a haircut. What are some things that you can do to ease your child with autism into the idea that getting a haircut is a good thing and a fun thing?

Use Social Stories

Thoughts And Ideas To Consider

Children with autism appreciate and need explanations and they need to see, hear, smell, or touch something to know how to respond. There is no better example than a haircut. If your child with autism has never seen anyone get a haircut, read a book about it, or watched a video of a positive experience with a child getting a haircut then it is perfectly reasonable to react strongly to the idea of someone coming at them with shiny, sharp scissors! Take your child along when YOU get a haircut, or when one of his/her siblings gets a haircut. Let him/her see that there is nothing to fear, that it doesn’t hurt to have your hair cut, and that the end result is nice-looking hair!

Give Your Child Something To Calm Himself/Herself During The Haircut

It could be a tablet with a favorite video or movie, a fidget of some sort, a favorite doll, or it could be sitting in your lap while he/she gets the haircut. Whatever it is for your child, make sure you provide. Your child won’t always need it. But, while he/she is young and just learning about these things, there is nothing wrong with helping your child by using sensory tools to help them feel calm during a stressful situation.

Take Your Child On A Pre-Visit

If possible, take your child to the salon in advance to meet the hairdresser and see the environment where he/she will go to get their haircut. This can help them prepare for the trip, and learn what to expect at the salon.

Role Play At Home

Get a cheap doll at the dollar store and play “hair salon”. Give the doll a haircut and dress the doll up and talk about how nice and calm the doll was during the haircut and how nice the doll looks after the haircut. Make it enticing and interesting and talk about how your child will get to do the same thing soon.

Explain The Steps Of A Haircut

You can use a visual schedule, watch a video, read a book, or talk through what to expect at the salon.

Remove The Fear Of The Unknown

The more preparation you can provide for your child, the better. In addition to preparing well, there are a few more things that you can do.

Schedule It For An Optimal time

Try to schedule your child’s appointment at the least busy time of the day. You can also try to schedule your child’s appointment during a time of day when your child is at their most relaxed state. Avoid scheduling your child’s appointment at times when your child is overtired or overwhelmed.

Keep The Haircut Simple

This will ensure that the whole process can be kept short and sweet. For little boys, maybe a quick buzz or a simple short haircut if they are opposed to the buzzing shaver. (Tip: massage their back with the buzzer to see how they react to it. For some kids, it can feel good and soothing and for others, you might need to put it in the drawer and map out a new plan).

Test Some Salon Items At Home

If available, try using some salon items at home and show your child with autism how they work. Try the hair clippers, combs, scissors, and hairdryer. Show them how they work on you first and then ask him/her if he/she wants to try it out on himself/herself. Show him/her that there is nothing to fear.

Reward Your Child For A Job Well Done

Once you’re at the salon, use rewards for your child when he/she responds appropriately. Support your child and continue to teach your child as much as you can about what is expected when he/she has difficulty with events such as these.

I want to learn more.

Be Patient

Struggles with haircuts can seem as though they will remain a problem forever. They do not. As children with autism learn and grow, they eventually learn that there are certain events that happen in their routine, and the better prepared they are, the less likely they are to experience anxiety at the thought of getting a haircut in the future.

or adverse response to a haircut

Be patient and do your best to react calmly in the event that your child has a tantrum or adverse response to a haircut. Be persistent with preparing them for haircuts with frequent visits to the salon and lots and lots of conversations about haircuts and what a wonderful thing that they are!

Circle Care Services is an ABA agency in New Jersey that specializes in helping children with autism. We can help to guide you through difficulties like these. We offer parent training and have trained behavior technicians that can provide behavior modification for your child with ABA therapy. We can help you to navigate the little things that feel like insurmountable big things by coming alongside you and your family and providing guidance and teaching new behavioral and social skills to your child.

Call us for a consultation!

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Holiday Travel Tips For Children With Autism

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‘Tis the season for holiday busy-ness and family gatherings! Just the thought of everything that is waiting on that holiday “to-do” list can be overwhelming for anyone. Adding travel to the holiday itinerary creates a whole new “to-do” list to tackle before, during, and after travel.

‘Tis the Season

Holiday Travel Tips For Children With Autism

For families who have children on the autism spectrum, there is a list of considerations that pertain specifically to the child in the family with autism. It takes planning and strategizing to make traveling run smoothly with a child who has autism. It also takes patience, flexibility, and creative thinking to make traveling with a child who has autism a pleasant experience for the child, and for the whole family.

Plan Ahead

Children with autism are notoriously reliant on routines. Any change in routine can be quite disruptive to a child with autism and trigger feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and panic. Surprising your child with an impromptu weekend to Disneyland might sound amazing to some children, but it could provoke fear and a meltdown in a child with autism. Children with autism need time to process ideas before jumping at the opportunities.

Planning ahead for a disruption in the daily routine

Planning ahead for a disruption in the daily routine is the most compassionate thing that you can do for a child with autism. Rather than, “hey kids…get up! We’re jumping on a plane to California to go to Disneyland!” you might consider sitting the family down and presenting the idea weeks in advance. Creating a written itinerary for the family is also a nice idea for preparing everyone and even starting conversations about some of the other ideas that family members may want to add or delete before travel.

After presenting the plans to the family, there are a few more things to do to prepare a child with autism for all of the various sights, sounds, smells, and crowds that will inevitably come with traveling away from home during the holidays.

  • Look at a calendar together and count how many days before your trip.
  • Talk about where you are going: how far, weather, landmarks, food etc.
  • Talk about who you will be visiting: grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins etc.
  • Show your child pictures of the locations and the people you will visit with.
  • Talk about how you will get there: plane, train, or automobile.
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Explain What to Expect

If your child has never been on a plane, this is the perfect opportunity to start preparing him/her for the experience. Watch videos together, go to the library and check out books about riding on an airplane for the first time, and if there is an airport close by consider taking a little field trip to watch the planes take off and land.

Explain What to Expect

The goal is to remove any doubt or surprise to the experience. Some children with autism may even ask complicated questions about how airplanes fly and it can easily become a new interest for them.

In addition to preparing your child for what to expect, it is equally important to talk about how long the ride will be and what sorts of activities you can have on hand to keep busy on the trip. Talk about that with your child and ask if he/she would like to go to the store to pick out things for his/her “trip bag”. Fill a “trip bag” with markers, coloring books, activity books, snacks, games, game consoles, or tablets and fidgets to soothe him/her.

If you have a child with autism who has hypersensitivity to noise, the airport can be a challenging place. Invest in some noise cancellation headphones to reduce the level of noise that your child has to endure. This can help to keep a child with autism calm and comfortable.

Make a list of things that help to distract and soothe your child with autism and include those things on your list for traveling.

Keep Your Child Safe and Calm

The most important thing aside from preparing a child with autism for travel is to keep him/her safe and well during the trip.

Be sure your child has some identifying information on his/her body before traveling. Pin a laminated card on the back of your child’s shirt or inside of a jacket, hang a lanyard around his/her neck with names and phone numbers to contact in case you are separated and take a picture at the beginning of each day during travel to have an accurate image to present to security or others in the event that you are separated at a public place. By taking a picture in the morning before heading out to holiday events you have documentation of what your child is wearing which is also helpful in locating a wandering child.

Hopefully your child with autism will not be separated from you, but it would only be a benefit to discuss what to do with your child so that he/she knows who to approach and what to do if he/she is able.

I want to learn more.

The End Goal

To get the most out of your holiday travel plans there will have to be a great focus on your child’s mood and level of comfort with various environments. Be ready to play tag team with your spouse so that you can enjoy a little “off duty” time for yourself and with the other children in the family.

If you are visiting with family, perhaps there is a family member that wouldn’t mind watching over your child with autism so that you and your spouse can have a little time together without children. Or maybe you’d like to spend a little time with your other children without feeling like you are on “high alert”.

Whatever a pleasant holiday experience is for you and your family, you can make it happen with good planning, patience, and flexibility in schedules and timing.

Try not to sweat the small stuff, take everything in stride. Make sure your child is comfortable and calm, and the rest will fall into place. Most of all, don’t be afraid to ask for help from other family members and take a little break once in a while.

Enjoy the holidays!

If you and your family reside in New Jersey, Circle Care Services is an ABA service provider that serves children with autism and their families. We are ready to help your child to develop his/her social and behavior skills so that your child can enjoy all of the wonderful things that you and your family have planned for this holiday season and all of the holidays to come.

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Managing Holiday Events With an Autistic Child

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The sights, the smells, and the sounds of the holidays are something that many of us look forward to each year. Traditions and gatherings bring families together for those once-a-year celebrations, and we hurry about preparing for gift giving and sharing holiday meals together.

For families who have a child with autism, the holiday season can bring some challenges with all of the excitement. The things that make us feel warm and fuzzy inside during the holidays are the very same things that can cause stress for a child with autism.

There are lights, music, different foods, new people, and a complete disruption of the normal daily routine. Of course, each child is different in his/her response to all of these things, but it is well worth your time to consider how the holidays and all that comes along with them may affect your child. Preparing ahead of time can make family gatherings and holiday celebrations a joyous occasion rather than a struggle with a child who has autism.

Prepare your child

Before the hustle and bustle of the holidays begin, sit with your child who has autism and watch some holiday movies or videos, or visit the library and pick out some books about the holiday that is coming up. Help your child to visualize what the holidays will be like.

Managing Holiday Events With an Autistic Child
  • Talk about the reason for holiday traditions.
  • Talk about who will be coming to visit.
  • Talk about expectations.
  • Talk about what to do if/when he/she feels like he/she needs a break.
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Include your child in the holiday preparations

Making your child a part of holiday preparations can help your child with autism understand the meaning of the holiday and warm up to the idea of any holiday events or family gatherings that may be on your calendar.

Include your child in the holiday preparations
  • Let your child help with decorating around the house.
  • Plan some holiday crafts that you can do together.
  • Ask your child to help bake some holiday treats.
  • Include your child in planning the menu- let him/her choose something he/she will enjoy eating.
  • Take some short shopping trips and let him/her pick out some simple gifts to wrap for someone special.

Know your child’s limits and tolerances

If your child with autism has difficulties with crowds and loud noises, a family gathering could overwhelm your child very quickly. Try to arrange for a space that your child can go to in order to get away from the crowd and the noise. This will be much easier in your own home. If you are at a relative’s home, you might want to make arrangements in advance for a quiet spot.

Know your child's limits and tolerances

Make sure your child is wearing comfortable clothing. Itchy sweaters and new shoes creating blisters on his/her feet are probably not in anyone’s best interest. Of course, we don’t want to allow pajama bottoms with no shoes and no shirt, but finding something comfortable and appropriate to wear is important for teaching your child to make a special occasion special.

Communicate with family ahead of time

There may be some relatives at the holidays that aren’t completely familiar with autism and all of its characteristics and challenges. It might be a good idea to explain to these relatives the best way to interact with your child. It doesn’t have to be a long discussion- just enough to let the other party know that you are aware of any potential situations and just enough to let the other party know that they need not take offense at any of your child’s words or actions.

Let your relatives know that it might be necessary to leave the room to attend to your child or leave early from another person’s house if it becomes overwhelming for your child or for the family. Thank them ahead of time for their patience and understanding.

Plan ahead

If you are going to be away from home, pack a bag of favorites to keep your child with autism entertained and calm. Bring some favorite snacks, gadgets, and even a change of clothing so that your child has some options to choose from if he/she feels stressed or uncomfortable. Just having something familiar to reach for can bring more peace and more time to spend with family.

Prepare yourself

In the unfortunate event that a relative insists on delivering unsolicited advice or harsh commentary about your parenting skills, take a deep breath and remember that this was probably inevitable.

You can respond in one of two ways:

Educate Your Relatives

Take the opportunity to educate your relatives about autism and explain the challenges that come with it. Offer some ways to respond or communicate with a child who has autism.

Don’t Take It Personally

Remind yourself not to take these comments and unsolicited advice in a personal way. Be gracious, thank them for the input and address your child’s needs away from the eyes and ears of the rest of the guests.

I want to learn more.

Take a break

If the environment that you are in is overwhelming, there is nothing wrong with taking a little time out – for yourself, for your child, or both.

  • Step outside and take a walk or toss a ball around.
  • Sit in the car for a few minutes and listen to music.
  • Find a room or a location in the house where guests are off-limits- sit or lie down and do some deep breathing exercises to calm the anxiety you or your child might be feeling.

The goal is to reset, reboot, and refresh!

Call it a day

Sometimes, the best idea is to cut the visit short and go home. Hopefully, you can plan well enough to be able to socialize, have a meal, and relax a little after the meal. However, autism always comes with surprises and challenges and if it becomes overwhelming for you, your child with autism, and all of the guests at your family gathering it is probably in everyone’s best interest to say goodnight and try to make an exit before things escalate.

If you and your family are facing these challenges with autism, we care! Circle Care Services in New Jersey is here for you. We offer a wide range of services for children with autism and their families. We can help with social skills, communication, repetitive behaviors, behavioral struggles, and more.

Call for a consultation now!

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Sibling Jealousy Signs & Behaviors in Children With Autism

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There is a common misconception that children with autism have a significantly lower ability to feel certain emotions or that they lack the ability to “feel” at all. Now, anyone that has been reading some of the previous information on Circle Care’s blog knows for certain that the exact opposite is true. In many cases, children and adults with autism feel a heightened sense of emotion; they just lack the ability to express it properly.

Do Children with Autism Feel Jealousy?

Jealousy is something that children with autism are very capable of feeling. However, to the outside world, it may not look like the same package of emotions that most of us recognize as jealousy. Typically, jealousy can come in the form of indifference, frustration, a little anger, and a wide range of facial expressions and commentary. Just think of toddlers who want mommy to put the new baby down and carry them instead. They tug and pull on mommy, maybe even tug and pull on the baby, they might cry out, squeeze and grunt, pinch, or say things like “my mommy!”.

Sibling Jealousy Signs & Behaviors in Children With Autism

A child with autism can feel the same jealousy, yet he/she may fail to express it at all and simply isolate him/herself, or go to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum and have an enormous meltdown.

It is important to understand that this emotion is present in children and adults with ASDs, and it is worth taking some time to observe your child or loved ones who have autism to identify some of the cues that portray jealousy is at work in them. If you can identify the signs of jealousy, you will be able to reach out to them and help them through the emotion.

Is Jealousy Common in Children or Adults with Autism?

Whether jealousy is common in autism carries the same answer as if one were to ask if jealousy is common in children or adults. It varies from person to person, and it depends on their personality traits and their dynamics with friends and family.

Jealousy Common in Children or Adults with Autism

If a child is an only child and has no sibling competition, then jealousy is probably pretty infrequent. An only child has total access to parents without interruption from another child.

His/her only true competition might be mom when he/she is trying to get dad’s attention and dad when he/she is trying to get mom’s attention. Makes sense, right? It is not unusual for adults to have memories of trying to squeeze in between mom and dad and break up a hug and grab one for themselves from the preferred parent at that moment.

An only child might show a little more jealousy if other children visit and play with their belongings or steal away the attention of their own mother or father. Maybe auntie is visiting and she brings her toddler and her baby, and it causes the adults to fuss over the “intruders”. This might bring out some resentment or confusion in a child with autism and there are many ways that these feelings can manifest.

A child with autism who has many siblings could potentially feel just as jealous or threatened by the surrounding competition, and yet this child may respond much differently. He/she could overlook something his/her sibling is doing (playing with one of their toys or keeping mom’s attention) or he/she could swing right over to the other side of the emotional fence and tantrum. Just like anyone else, jealousy creeps in unexpectedly, and it is dependent on many of the same factors that affect everyone else.

I want to speak with a professional Behavior Therapist.

What Causes Jealousy in Children and Adults with Autism?

Being human is what causes jealousy in children and adults with autism. The causes of jealousy in someone who has autism are really no different than the causes for any typically developing child or adult who has autism. The most observable difference between those with autism and those without autism is how it is expressed.

Causes Jealousy in Children and Adults with Autism

People with autism can express emotion without ever being aware of the fact that they are expressing it. The people who immediately surround the child or adult with autism are the first to notice the emotional changes.

There are a few factors that  immediate friends, family, and teachers can look out for which might indicate when a child with autism is feeling jealous.

Mood

It is especially helpful to watch for any mood changes in a child with autism- specifically the nonverbal children with autism. If your child is playing happily with you, and then his/her younger sibling wakes up from a nap and calls your attention away thereby causing this previously happy child to retreat to another room in silence- you know there has been a change. The child may not say, “I’m feeling angry because that baby interrupted us.” But, the child is making it evident by isolating and pouting in silence that there is an emotional response.

Nutrition

If your child’s eating habits have changed, it could be that the child is affected by his/her moods caused by an emotionally upsetting set of circumstances. It is wise to make a mental note of any changes like this and try to trace the change back to an event if possible. It is also a good idea to take note of any food preferences and differences between siblings in the family. Maybe something that a sibling is eating for dinner was a food item that he/she previously disliked, but now he/she would like to try it “like big sister or brother”- but he/she can’t express this verbally. The only way to express this without words would be to act out.

Sleep

When a child is emotionally distraught, sleep disturbances might become an issue. If your child is jealous of your spouse, he/she might try to stay up later because he/she may feel upset about mom and dad spending alone time together after he/she goes to bed. This might lead to the child getting up repeatedly, asking for water, asking to use the bathroom, or crying about being alone in bed when a parent tries to leave. It is especially difficult when a child has an older sibling who is allowed to stay up later while he/she is required to get to bed much earlier.

Social/Emotional Instruction (sharing, exchange, expressing)

Jealousy is most obvious in social settings where a child is expected to be kind, share, trade toys, or speak nicely to other children. If another child has a toy or a snack that he/she likes and he/she can’t have it, the child might act out in response to those feelings. If another child sees parents pushing their child on the swing, but you prefer to sit and chat with other parents at the park instead of pushing your child on the swing- the potential for a tantrum from your child is very likely.

Stimming

This is another indicator of high emotion or a need for the release of anxiety. If a child is upset (jealous) and can’t verbally express it, he/she may engage in repetitive behaviors called stimming such as rocking, pacing, flapping, shaking the head, noise-making, tapping, spinning, or any variety of repetitive movements or vocalizations that make him/her feel better about his/her emotional state. When you observe this in a child with autism, it is always a good idea to try and interrupt the behaviors by offering something that you think he/she might like or giving him/her some attention to distract him/her from the repetitive movements. It could be that he/she just wanted attention from you or a sibling.

People with autism can express emotion without ever being aware of the fact that they are expressing it. The people who immediately surround the child or adult with autism are the first to notice the emotional changes.

There are a few factors that immediate friends, family, and teachers can look out for which might indicate when a child with autism is feeling jealous.

I want to learn more.

Do Kids With Autism Play with Their Siblings?

Children with autism do play with their siblings. However, it is usually on their terms. Many siblings of children with autism struggle to find ways to keep their autistic siblings engaged in activities that they both enjoy.

Children with autism can be easily distracted, fail to understand the rules completely, or become bored easily and refuse to play along. Imaginative play is also difficult for children with autism and this can cause a lot of frustration on both ends of the equation with the typically developing sibling feeling upset about the role-play being broken and the autistic child feeling frustrated by the demands of the typically developing sibling.

Do Autistic Children Get Jealous of Siblings?

If a child with autism has difficulty playing with a typically developing sibling, it is inevitable that the typically developing sibling will seek out other willing participants for imaginary play, sports, or whatever type of activity that they wanted to play but couldn’t with their autistic sibling.

This can spark some jealousy from the sibling with autism because they are now a spectator to something that they didn’t understand and became frustrated with. Even if they try to join in, the motive might be to claim their playmate back and not necessarily to join in and learn the rules of the game.

How Does Autism Affect Family Members?

When someone in the family has autism, everyone is affected. Mom and Dad have a full-time job juggling all of the various responsibilities that accompany a child with autism, typically developing siblings have to learn to be patient with the sibling who has autism, social events have to be skipped, shortened, or modified to accommodate the child with autism, and family events can be stressful with everyone’s opinions and judgments on something that they don’t understand and live with on a daily basis.

Jealousy is a natural part of all of this. Mom is jealous of other moms who have more freedom- Dad feels the same about other dads. Siblings are vying for attention- they want to be the center of the conversation just like their autistic siblings. Most of all, the child with autism is very likely struggling with feelings that he/she cannot express and the feelings of frustration can grow rapidly.

If you have a child with autism and you and your family are struggling with social and emotional issues at home, we can help. Circle Care Services is an ABA agency in New Jersey that serves families like yours. We offer social and emotional skills training, behavioral therapy, and support to families who live with autism every day. If you’re looking for help with your child, Circle Care Services offers the highest quality support. Call us today to find out more about what we can do for you.

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