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When people reminisce about their childbirth experiences, they refer to three stages – labor, birth, and delivery of the placenta. However, I feel they omit the hidden fourth stage that occurs after your baby is born – the delivery of guilt, worry, and self-doubt. It’s just a part of the deal, regardless of how well everything went and how well our babies are thriving.
A parent’s instincts are superhuman. But often, when we voice concerns about our children’s behavior and development, we are met with placating remarks, like, ‘Don’t be paranoid, all kids are different,’ or ‘He/she is just a late bloomer’. But often, our instincts point us in the right direction; if anything, there is no harm in seeking peace of mind.
Learning developmental milestones
Many babies develop at their own pace, and some parenting books don’t provide exact timelines. However, developmental milestones give a general idea of what we should expect babies and toddlers to be able to do by a certain age.

According to the CDC, ‘Skills such as taking the first step, smiling for the first time, and waving “bye-bye” are called developmental milestones. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, act, and move.’ Their website gives a comprehensive guide that can help you know when to expect your baby to reach his or her milestones.
Don’t wait until the child outgrows the signs of autism before doing something about it.
While many babies develop at their own pace, children with autism spectrum disorder usually exhibit delayed development by age 2. If you think your child might have autism, it can be challenging to figure out what’s going on and when things should happen. Even if there is an issue, it is not necessarily autism. The autism spectrum comprises a variety of symptoms, not just a single delay or quirk.
When should you start worrying? How do you know if your child needs an evaluation? What are the early red flags? It can be tricky to tell whether behaviors point to a developmental problem or just a phase all kids go through. If you have any concerns, there is no harm in chatting with your pediatrician. If they have any concerns based on what you are telling them, they will recommend further evaluation.
The early symptoms of autism in children
While a formal diagnosis of autism can’t really be made before the age of 18 months (sometimes later), early signs can indicate a risk of autism. The more ‘red flags’ that are visible, the higher the risk. However, many things on the list could also occur in babies and toddlers developing normally. A professional can look at the signs holistically and determine if there is cause for concern. The early symptoms of autism include:
Signs of autism at six months old:
- Minimal expression in terms of laughter, smiling or engaging facial expressions.
- Minimal eye contact, if any.
Signs of autism at nine months old:
- Little or no response engagement attempts. For example, not smiling or laughing during peek-a-boo, reacting by looking over when asked, ‘Where’s Daddy?’
Signs of autism at twelve months old:
- No response to their name.
- Limited babbling, if any.
- Limited or no pointing, showing, reaching, or waving, particularly in response to prompting.
Signs of autism at sixteen months old:
- Vocabulary is not developing.
Signs of autism at twenty-four months old:
- Not evolving to two-word, meaningful phrases. This excludes mimicking.
Signs of autism at any age:
- Difficulty creating and maintaining eye contact.
- A preference for solitude.
- Regression with previously established babbling, speech, or social skills.
- Impaired or delayed language development.
- Trouble empathizing with others’ feelings.
- Difficulty in managing changes to routine
- Echolalia – persistently repeating words, phrases, or sounds without meaning
- Limited or very specific interests.
- Stimming – Repetitive behaviors such as rocking, spinning, or flapping
- Extreme sensitivity or sensory input – smells, tastes, sounds, light, and color.
How to know when it’s time to see a doctor
When you suspect your child may have ASD, the most important thing to remember is that you should never delay seeking professional advice. Early intervention is key to managing and reducing the severity of ASD symptoms. If your child displays two or more of the symptoms listed above and you’ve ruled out environmental factors, it may be time to visit your doctor. Your doctor will likely refer you to a pediatrician who can perform diagnostic tests to confirm or rule out ASD.
If you’re in the New Jersey area, Circle Care can help you find a pediatrician or diagnostician! We’ve done the research for you to find providers that accept insurance and are qualified. If you’re interested, just fill out our diagnostician form, and someone from our team will be in touch soon!
Use Autism Spectrum Disorder Checklists
It is impossible to diagnose autism spectrum disorder using medical tests. Instead, the diagnosis is made by various specialists studying the child’s behavior, and certain tests are used to determine the condition’s severity if the child has it.
Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers (M-CHAT-R)
The M-CHAT-R is a shortened version of the Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers. This checklist comprises 20 questions about the child’s behavior. It is appropriate for children between the ages of 16 and 30 months. The assessment does not equate to a diagnosis, but parents or caregivers can use it to determine if additional evaluation is necessary.
Autism Spectrum Disorder Communication Checklist

One of the hallmarks of ASD is difficulty communicating. These are some of the problems or delays that children with autism experience.
- They do not express their thoughts or needs in any way.
- They do not use gestures or facial expressions.
- Limited or no speech.
- They repeat words from movies or other people.
- They don’t respond to their names if they’re called.
- They have a monotonous tone of voice.
- They do not initiate interactions with others.
- They don’t understand sarcasm and are very literal.
- They don’t comprehend the intended message of words.
- They provide irrelevant answers to questions.
- They switch pronouns when speaking.
ASD Unusual Physical Behavior Checklist
There is a range of physical behaviors that children with ASD exhibit, as well as particular interests. The most common include:
- Children with ASD often engage in stimming behaviors like rocking or flapping their hands to calm themselves.
- They may walk on their toes or be ridged.
- They may over- or under-respond to certain sensory stimuli
- They may be picky eaters, dislike certain textures, or dislike foods based on their tastes or smells.
- They may have obsessive interests or behave in a manner that is inappropriate for their age.
- They may get upset by minor variations in their routine
- Children with ASD often line up their toys or gadgets rather than play with them.
ASD Social Skills Checklist
Children with ASD have difficulties with social skills. These issues have a significant effect on their lives.
- They may be reluctant to accept physical contact.
- They may prefer to be or play by themselves.
- They may have difficulty reading other people’s emotions
- They may have trouble understanding personal space.
- They do not initiate interactions with others.
- They don’t understand sarcasm and are very literal.
- They don’t comprehend the intended message of words.
- They provide irrelevant answers to questions.
- They switch pronouns when speaking.
DSM-V Checklist for ASD
According to the DSM-5 (American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 5th Edition), a child must display three symptoms:
- poor social communication and interaction
- inflexible behavioral patterns
- intellectual impairment, whether or not language impairment is present
So, What Next?
If you are concerned about your child but are doubting yourself, the best thing you can do is:
Consider what the people around you are saying.
It’s easy to become defensive of our children when others point out concerns with their development or behavior. However, you likely already have a niggle, and may be mildly concerned, but it’s sometimes easier to hope it is just a phase. When people you trust and whom you know have your and your child’s best interest at heart, take their observations from where they come. Keep an open mind and embrace the potential support rather than closing yourself off.

Trust your instincts
You know your child, and your instincts are usually loud and clear – but it’s easy to doubt yourself. There is so much conflicting information out there, which can be confusing. If you have any concerns, reach out and get support. Circle Care Services in New Jersey and Massachusetts can offer support and are partnered with developmental pediatricians. Circle Care Services can guide you in connecting with the right medical professionals.
Tips on moving forward
If you believe your child may be on the autism spectrum, it’s essential to have them assessed. The earlier ASD is diagnosed, and treatment begins, the better the outcome for your child.
ABA therapy should happen as quickly as possible after a diagnosis of autism. Of course, older children can still benefit, but the children who receive services at a younger age tend to be nearly indistinguishable from their peers as they age.
This can be a long and frustrating journey, so it is essential to seek support from others who have been there. In addition, it is essential to find a doctor with experience diagnosing, treating, and working with children with ASD.
Knowledge is power, and there is a wealth of information out there about ASD. Spend time reading books and articles and talking with other parents whose children have a similar diagnosis. ASD is complex, and there is a lot to understand. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Doctors, teachers, and other professionals who work with children with ASD are there to help. ASD and the journey to diagnosis and treatment can be stressful. Finding emotional support from other parents and professionals can make a big difference. Parents are often so focused on their children that they neglect their own needs. This is especially true for parents of children with ASD. Make time for yourself and practice self-care.
Circle Care Services can help you find a doctor in the New Jersey and Massachusetts area to assess whether your child in fact has an autism spectrum disorder. We provide comprehensive ABA to help your family to start the right treatment plan for your child. In addition, we offer in-home services and preschool readiness programs, and we work in school settings with our clients. If you are seeking ABA services and have questions about ABA, we are here to help.
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