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Understanding Autism

5 Ways Teachers Can Help Children With Autism In The Classroom

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The number of American children on the autism spectrum increases every year.  New Jersey diagnosticians are finding that 1 in every 54 children has ASD. If you’re a teacher, you’re likely to teach a child with autism. Parents feel frustrated when their child’s teacher does not understand what makes their child tick, and teachers feel helpless when they cannot guide their students to achieve success at school.  

Young Girl Reading Book At School Wearing A Mask

Working with children with autism brings a huge amount of joy, like any endeavor which takes effort and grit. But only for those who embrace the challenge and learn how to succeed with a child that has unique needs. As the new school year approaches, let’s take a moment to prepare for a successful year at school. 

Teachers, prepare to help every child succeed this year!

If you are a teacher, read on for tips on helping your student with autism succeed in school, but first, remember this. Just because you’re told a child in your class has autism, it doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of being academically successful. In fact, if you’re kind, patient, and persistent when working with your student, you’ll eventually discover that there’s much more to your student than their neurological disorder and undesired behaviors. Children with autism are talented, smart, and creative. Give the child’s parents reason to be happy that they shared the diagnosis with you instead of feeling disappointed (like so many of their friends share) that you used the diagnosis to label and absolve yourself from trying to help.

So, without further delay, here are five ways you, as a teacher, can help children with autism and guide them in unlocking their inner potential:

1. Focus on the positives

Studies show that positive reinforcement is much more effective than punishment or other forms of discipline. In other words, rewarding positive behaviors in children with autism is better than punishing their undesired behaviors. That’s because praising them makes them (and you) feel good, which increases the likelihood that they’ll repeat those positive behaviors.

Also, punishment can damage a child’s physical and mental health in the long run, so if you want them to develop positive behaviors, positive reinforcement would be the way to go.

Rather than zeroing in on a child’s undesired behaviors and judging them by their past behaviors or developments, look for things to enjoy and appreciate about your student. For example, does your student with autism happen to be good at reading comprehension? If so, let them know, and you can even look for ways to incorporate that into other academic areas they may struggle with.

Letting your student know about their strengths and positive qualities, as well as using positive reinforcement, will be an excellent way to encourage and motivate your student.

And don’t forget to accept the child for the way they are. Instead of trying to change who they are on a fundamental level, try to teach them in a way that’s tailored to their special needs and allows them to make progress in the classroom.

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2. Be specific with your behavior

Male Teacher Showing Group Of Kids Science Experiment In Class

Whenever you’re praising and positively reinforcing your student with autism, make sure the child knows exactly which behavior you’re praising and what exactly you like about their behavior. Otherwise, your student may get confused about which of their behaviors are considered positive or undesired, which may impede your student’s educational progress. For example, rather than saying, “thanks for being helpful” try saying, “thanks for picking up my pencil”.

And, going back to what we said about positive reinforcement, find ways you can reward your student. This may involve giving them extra playtime or rewarding them with more tokens or gold stars on their reward charts.

3. Keep conversations focused and simple.

Because children with autism tend to take things literally, idioms and phrasal verbs are confusing. Try to keep directions and conversations simple and focused. Phrases that neurotypical children (those without autism) may think are literal and easy to understand but actually aren’t include:

  • “What’s up with you?” (Instead, you can ask, “How are you feeling?”)
  • “I’m all ears.” (Instead, you can say, “I’m listening.”)
  • “That’s a piece of cake.” (Instead, you can say, “That’s very easy to do.”)

Keep directions and conversations simple and focused. This means instead of giving long-winded reasons and explanations, use simple language so as not to overwhelm the child. For example, instead of saying “it’s important that you always keep your desk clear of any food, drink supplies, or toys so that you can learn well”, simply say, “Put nothing on your desk”. 

Also, children with autism may not be able to understand your nonverbal communications, so don’t immediately assume they can understand all your facial expressions and gestures.

For example, instead of turning your nose up or expecting that a glance in their direction will be enough to convey your intent, clearly say, “Put away the snack” or “We don’t color on our desks” or whatever you’re trying to convey to the child.

4. Provide a supportive environment for the child

Children with autism often feel overwhelmed or overstimulated by their surroundings. As a teacher, you can help students with autism thrive in your classroom by keeping the environment calm and emotionally supportive.

Female Teacher Helps Children With Autism Finish Lesson In School

Students with autism also perform best in familiar environments, so bear that in mind whenever you’re considering changing up a learning routine, moving their desk, or replacing the decorations in your classroom. You may decide to forgo the change for his sake, or you may want to prepare him in advance so he knows what to expect. Either way, don’t try to force change on him, but rather be flexible to create an environment that takes his needs into consideration

After all, you want to provide a conducive environment for your children to learn and thrive, and this applies to children with autism as well as neurotypical children.

5. Be patient when giving instructions

Children with autism, who often have difficulty following verbal explanations, need more time to process complex verbal commands. And, as we already established, it’s important to keep your instructions simple and focused. 

You should also remember that younger children often struggle to understand instructions, and that may make them seem uncooperative. In reality, their “uncooperative” behavior may actually be an inability to understand your verbal instructions, so always keep that possibility in mind.

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Conclusion

As a teacher, working with children with autism can be uniquely challenging, but thankfully there are many ways you can support our growing autism population and put them on a trajectory to academic success. From focusing on their positive qualities to being specific when positively reinforcing them to adapting the way you communicate to fostering a strong supportive environment, you can unlock your student’s inner strengths, open doors of opportunity, and help them thrive and succeed in the long run.

Want to know how else you can help your child? Get in touch with Circle Care so we can show you all the services we provide. And don’t forget to join our email list so you can gain some helpful information about ABA and parenting tips for those who have children with autism.

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How To Connect & Give Attention to Your Child Who Doesn’t Connect with You

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One of the most incredible challenges of raising children with autism is accepting that the emotional connection and need to express affection are not always mirrored. It’s often believed that those with autism spectrum disorder lack empathy and the ability to feel emotion – but it is not the case. Instead, the difficulty lies in their underdeveloped communication skills, which make it challenging to perceive emotions and respond appropriately.

Dad Holding Daughter In The Air For A Hug

Children with autism may have limited cognitive empathy, which is the ability to recognize what they are feeling or what others are feeling based on body language and other non-verbal cues. However, their effective empathy – the ability to literally feel someone else’s emotions, based on instincts and involuntary responses – is often heightened.

Internalizing these instincts can be overwhelming, causing the child to withdraw.

Eye Contact and Children with Autism

We associate gazing into someone’s eyes as the ultimate bonding experience and an expression of deep affection. It can be disheartening for a parent when their child avoids meeting their gaze. Many people on the autism spectrum struggle with eye contact – one of the essential elements of social interaction.

But lack of eye contact from children with autism is not based on indifference or inattention. They just lack social motivation due to their underdeveloped understanding of social interaction and communication skills. Forcing eye contact can result in the child feeling extremely stressed and anxious and lead them to withdraw even further.

How to Engage with Children with Autism

There are many alternative ways to connect with your child with autism  – they are just different from what many deem the norm. You can build a bond with your child if you adapt your way of thinking. You know your child well enough to know when you have their attention, even if it appears to others that they have zoned out or are ignoring you.

Before engaging with your child, ensure that you have their attention and always begin by using their name so they know you are speaking to them. Even if you are alone, it may not seem obvious to your child that you are talking to him/her unless they hear their name.

More often than not, those with autism spectrum disorder have a deep interest in something very specific – and this is the perfect tool to use to connect and engage.

Children with autism find it challenging to process too much information at once – especially filtering out the fluff and honing in on what is essential. For this reason, keep your communication specific, focusing on keywords and phrases.

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The Benefits of Structured Play

The adult takes the lead with structured play activities and provides the child with resources to offer direction. It is an excellent opportunity to connect with your child while modeling behavior such as sharing and taking turns. Many children with autism find these behaviors difficult, especially when they have siblings. Structured play comes with clear guidelines and a goal that can be described up front and reiterated as each step takes place.

Mother and Father On the Beach Holding Smiling Daughter

Children with autism spectrum disorder often find comfort in predictability and are less likely to feel stressed and overwhelmed if they can anticipate the outcome. Visual support can act as a reminder of what they can expect. Visual cues depicting the sequence will help them recall the objective. You can point to each cue, or reveal each step as you go, giving verbal reinforcement.

Once again, using your child’s interests and strengths will make them far more likely to engage, and it’s important to use activities within their capabilities. Being overambitious and offering activities that are too challenging can lead to anxiety and withdrawal. You also need to be realistic about the time the activity takes. Shorter, meaningful moments will go a lot further than trying to push too hard and spend too much time on one task.

How To Support Your Child’s Emotional Development

Children with autism need support when recognizing and managing emotions. They may not understand the spectrum of emotions that people experience and slap a general label on groups of emotions. For example, they may label all negative emotions as anger or fear. Or, if they notice someone expressing irritation or frustration at an external factor, they may automatically assume that the person is angry at them and become stressed. They need guidance in interpreting and responding to other people’s emotions as much as they need support in internalizing their own.

Minor changes to everyday interactions can help your child navigate the intricacies of human emotions.

For example, point out and name the emotions that you see expressed in stories or on TV.

Acknowledge their emotions by giving them a name. For example, “Your brow is furrowed, and your arms are crossed – you must be angry.”

Describe your own emotional responses. For example, if you are happy, say something like, “I am happy. That is why I am smiling’. There are some tremendous structured activities out there that can help your child learn how to properly identify emotions.

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Get The Support You Need

Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources and therapies to guide you. If you need advice about connecting with your child with autism, Circle Care Services in New Jersey is here to help. Our specialists are equipped to help your child and your family with communication, social skills, behavior concerns, and parenting training. If you want more tips and tricks like this, sign up to receive emails from Circle Care. We send helpful information to parents of children with autism!

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10 Outdoor Activities and Trips in New Jersey for Children With Autism

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If you have a child with autism, you’re probably aware of the importance of having access to sensory-friendly places. On the other hand, you might not even be familiar with the concept of a sensory-friendly environment. To put it simply, a sensory-friendly place is a space that has been altered or changed in some way to be more calming for the senses. These include your five basic senses and your sense of balance and movement.

As you may well know, many children with autism experience sensory overload, which means their five senses absorb more information than their brains can process. This often makes them feel overwhelmed and a range of other negative emotions.

There are a variety of ways to create a sensory-friendly place. Here are some common and effective ways to make a more sensory-friendly environment.

Family Of Four Running Through A Field At Sunset
  • Reduced noise
  • Dimmed lighting
  • Quiet zones
  • Designated bathrooms
  • Eliminated scents or smells
  • Accessible seating
  • Reduced clutter

If you live in New Jersey and you’re looking for outdoor trips for your child with autism, you’re in the absolute right place. Bear in mind that the places listed below can have just one or two of the features listed above or a combination of those features, and you should never assume that a place has every one of them. Instead, you should do your due diligence and make sure the place you’re thinking of visiting has all the accommodations you need for your child.

1. Jake’s Place Play Areas, Cherry Hill and Delran

Known for its “playgrounds for everybody,” Jake’s Place play areas have balance beams, bridges, rock walls, stepping circles, and climber equipment, as well as specialized areas for children with autism. For enhanced safety, there’s also a fence surrounding the perimeter.

Built-in Challenger Park in Camden County to honor Jacob Miles Cummings-Nasto, who suffered from a rare cardiac condition that prevented him from enjoying certain activities in a traditional playground, this award-winning play place was founded on the belief that all children, including those with autism, deserve a place to play.

  • Cherry Hill address: 101 Bortons Mill Road, Cherry Hill, N.J. 08034
  • Delran address: 12 Hartford Road, Delran, N.J. 08075
  • Phone number: (856) 662-4418

2. Cape May County Park and Zoo, Cape May Court House

This 85-acre zoo, which is home to over 550 animals across 250 species, is the perfect place for your child with autism. Chances are that you’re aware of the fact that children with autism spectrum disorder benefit greatly from being around animals since animals provide a comforting presence and can alleviate stress and anxiety.

The zoo also boasts lush country gardens and a peaceful natural environment, not to mention a large playground right outside the zoo gates, that your child will surely enjoy.

  • Address: 707 Route 9 North, Cape May Court House, N.J. 08210
  • Phone number: (609) 465-5271

3. Heart of Surfing, Egg Harbor Township

Heart of Surfing, a nonprofit organization, teaches children with autism and other developmental disabilities how to surf, do yoga, roller skate, engage in fitness activities, and create art.

Although the organization started just a few years ago with only a few participating families, it has grown tremendously and continues to thrive.

  • Address: 409 Superior Rd Egg Harbor Township, NJ 08234
  • Phone number: (609) 705-5323

4. Trailside Nature and Science Center, Mountainside

Families who want to experience a calming and airy complex that exhibits wetlands, forests, and meadows should consider visiting Trailside Nature and Science Center. Other features of this place include a bird habitat, a wildlife viewing area, and a children’s discovery room that your child with autism will surely enjoy. There are also scenic nature trails through the Watchung Reservation, which is known for being the largest park in Union County.

Behind the center, there’s a sensory-friendly trail designed to encourage interaction and stimulate the senses in a fun and enjoyable way.

  • Address: 452 New Providence Road, Mountainside, N.J. 07092
  • Phone number: (908) 789-3670

5. Sahara Sam’s Oasis Indoor & Outdoor Waterpark, West Berlin

Special Needs Events at Sahara Sam’s Oasis offers fun and judgment-free evenings for individuals with developmental disabilities, including children with autism, to enjoy the waterpark with their friends and families.

Family Of Four Blowing Bubbles In A Field

People who attend “Special Evenings at Sam’s,” also known as S.E.A.S., benefit from significantly reduced rates and a program that’s specifically designed to cater to the needs of individuals with developmental disabilities.

  • Address: 535 North Route 73, West Berlin, NJ 08091
  • Phone number: (856) 767-7580

6. Allaire Community Farm, Wall Township

Through its working farm environment and rescued animals, Allaire Community Farm seeks to “nurture through nature” children with developmental disabilities, as well as teens experiencing mental health issues, families battling cancer and veterans with PTSD.

Its outreach, events, and programs use equine therapy, animal therapy, vocational training, and organic gardening to support these families and individuals. In addition, the greenhouses and gardens support families that are undergoing financial or medical hardships, and all funds that the nonprofit farm generates are allocated towards propelling the organization’s mission.

  • Address: 1923 Baileys Corner Road, Wall Township, N.J. 07719
  • Phone number: (732) 796-3298
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7. Storybook Land, Egg Harbor Township

This quaint amusement park in Egg Harbor Township is all about nursery rhymes and children’s stories. Storybook Land offers a calming room, a quiet dining area, and a sensory-sensitive space where your child with autism can take a break.

It also hosts “Sensory Sensitive Weekends,” where music and sounds are brought down to lower decibels, geysers, and other water features are turned off, and Medical Access Passes (MAPs) are made available to families that can’t wait in line for food or rides.

  • Address: 6415 E Black Horse Pike, Egg Harbor Township, NJ 08234
  • Phone number: (609) 646-0103

8. Diggerland, West Berlin

Diggerland, which prides itself on being America’s only construction and waterpark, gives families with children the opportunity to ride, drive, and operate real machines in a fun, safe, and structured environment. And, when they’re not operating specially engineered machines, they can visit The Water Main, a construction-themed waterpark, to swim, soak, and slide.

Another feature that makes Diggerland ideal for your child with autism is that it offers fun, judgment-free “Special Abilities Nights” throughout the course of the year.

  • Address: 100 Pinedge Dr, West Berlin, NJ 08091
  • Phone: (856) 768-1110

9. Red Bull Arena, Harrison

If you’re looking for sensory-friendly places for your child, major league sports stadiums are probably not the first places that come to mind. However, in 2017, the New York Red Bulls established a “Permanent Sensory Room” so individuals with autism could take a break from the highly energetic, stimulating atmosphere of a major league soccer match.

Mother & Father Giving Their Children Piggy Back Rides Outdoors

The Red Bulls turned the arena’s executive office space into a calming area with light-colored walls and dimmed lighting. There are also fidget toys, visual aids, and sensory sacks filled with stress balls, headphones, and other sensory regulation coping tools for your child with autism to use.

Lastly, during the season, the Red Bulls host Autism Awareness Night, making for a fun and inclusive environment for individuals with autism.

  • Address: 600 Cape May St, Harrison, NJ 07029
  • Phone: (973) 268-8420

10. Sesame Place, Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Sesame Place may be right over the border in Pennsylvania, but it’s close enough to garner our attention and for you to consider taking your child with autism for a day trip. Known for being the first-ever theme park to be designated as a Certified Autism Center, Sesame Place provides quiet private rooms, low-traffic quiet areas, and a no-interaction parade viewing area so your child with autism can have the time of their life while learning in a fun, inclusive environment.

Visitors also get the chance to participate in a meet-and-greet with their favorite Sesame Street characters – like Julia, a curious and sweet four-year-old who has autism.

  • Address: 100 Sesame Road, Langhorne, Pa. 19047
  • Phone: (215) 702-3566
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Conclusion

Now you can see that having autism and other developmental disabilities does not mean you can’t have fun with your loved ones. After all, there are so many outdoor venues in New Jersey that offer a fun, inclusive, judgment-free environment for your child with autism.

If you really want to take their life to the next level and give them a safe and comfortable environment where they can learn, grow, and develop, contact Circle Care, where we provide ABA therapy in New Jersey, as well as other services tailored to your child’s specific needs. If you’re interested, sign up for our email newsletter to receive more tips and tricks like this!

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8 Coping Strategies For Sensory Overload In Children With Autism   

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As parents of children with autism, we’ve all seen children with autism experience sensory overload firsthand. It’s not something that any child can conquer easily, and no parent enjoys seeing their child in distress. 

Sensory overload occurs when a person is receiving more input from their five senses than their brain can process. Many things can trigger sensory overload, including flashing lights, loud noises, multiple conversations happening in the same room, or another person wearing strong perfume. This can prove challenging for many families, especially during the holidays, where group gatherings and festivities such as fireworks prove difficult for children with autism.

Girl Pulling On Hair And Screaming While Experiencing Sensory Overload

Although anyone can experience sensory overload, it’s associated with a number of conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sensory processing disorder (SPD), and autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

To a child with autism who experiences sensory overload, it feels as if everything is happening at once, and this feeling can make them overwhelmed and scared.

Being able to recognize sensory overload in your child is extremely important since it can help you better understand your child and manage their reactions in a positive and correct way.

What does sensory overload mean to a child? 

Identifying sensory overload in a child can be challenging, especially if there’s no co-current condition like autism, sensory processing disorder, or PTSD.

And, as we already established, sensory overload can simply occur because the child’s young brain is still developing. 

What does sensory overload look like?

You can identify sensory overload once you know what it looks like on the outside. If your child with autism displays any of the following behaviors, chances are they’re experiencing sensory overload:

  • Increased movements such as jumping and spinning
  • Difficulty focusing on certain things
  • Talking faster and louder or not talking at all
  • Covering ears or eyes from sensory input
  • Restlessness
  • Anxiety, stress, or fear of the surroundings
  • Inconsolable meltdowns
  • Refusing or insisting on certain foods or clothes

If you observe any of these behaviors in your child, have no fear. Identifying sensory overload in a child can be challenging.

Parents and caregivers often run into the mistake of attributing the symptoms to “bad behavior” until they learn how to properly understand what they are seeing.  This is important because it will help them be able to do what their child needs them to do.

Although there currently are no treatments to cure sensory overload, there are many different coping strategies you can employ to help your child manage or prevent these unpleasant situations.

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8 coping strategies for sensory overload

1. Know the Early Signs and Identify the Triggers

Look for signs of distress from your child that come from sensory-related triggers. Is your child covering their eyes or ears? Are they feeling restless? Are they refusing to eat certain foods?

Encourage your child to communicate what’s causing them to feel frustrated, angry, agitated, or any negative emotions associated with sensory overload. This will not only improve your understanding of your child but will also help you identify trigger situations that need to be avoided in the future.

2. Learn to de-escalate the situation, and avoid overreacting. 

A child experiencing a sensory overload can become physically or verbally aggressive, or have a completely irrational meltdown. It’s normal to be concerned about this behavior, but the last thing you want to do is overreact when your child suddenly becomes triggered. They’re already feeling overwhelmed, and reacting by stirring drama will only stress them out even more and worsen the situation.

Instead, 

  • Give your child space to escape and express their emotions. 
  • Use simple language or no words at all. This limits the input they are getting and helps the brain to settle down. 
  • Give your child his favorite things/activities that help him feel happy and calm; his favorite music to listen to; a calming video to watch, a book to read, or even walking away for a short period of time to air out.
  • Try using sensory regulation toys to help ground your child.

3. Accommodate your child’s preferences

Helping your child cope with sensory overload may require a great deal of accommodation and some sacrifice on your part. 

Child Holding Pinecones As A Tactile Exercise For Sensory Overload

Whenever you’re out in public places, you want to make sure your child isn’t getting too much stimulation from their senses, which can trigger sensory overload.

Things you can do to prevent this from happening include:

  • Avoiding crowded areas
  • Make a list of the things you want to buy beforehand for a quicker shopping experience.
  • Wearing sunglasses or any protective gear when you are outside

When going out to socialize, you can:

  • Meet up one-on-one with your friends.
  • Choose a quiet venue.
  • Avoid making conversation while doing something else.
  • Rest and feed your child well before going out.

You can also try to embrace the joy of missing out, or “JOMO”, but if you’re a particularly social person, this can prove to be a huge challenge for you, but your efforts will certainly pay off in the long run.

4. Remove Causes for low tolerance.

Coping with sensory overload isn’t all about avoiding triggers and making adjustments when going out to public places or socializing with friends.

It’s also about ensuring your child is well-rested, well-fed, and well hydrated. After all, any child, even one who doesn’t have the added stress of sensory overload, will have less patience, and stronger reactions when hungry, tired, or thirsty. Being proactive to remove these causes of irritability will go a long way and prime your child with autism in the best position to cope with the sensory overload.  

5. Consider therapy 

Sensory integration therapy (SIT), which was designed to help people with sensory processing issues, such as sensory processing disorder, is a therapy provided by trained occupational therapists. In a nutshell, SIT involves exposing a child to different stimuli in a safe, play-based environment to gradually reduce their hypersensitivity. 

To modify the environment for better therapy, the therapist may do things like soundproofing the room or changing artwork or other visual stimuli in the room. 

6. Reduce visual stimulation 

If you don’t experience sensory overload yourself, you may not be immediately aware of visual stimuli that could trigger your child’s sensory overload. To prevent your child from getting overwhelmed at home, you could do simple things like:

  • Reducing the items that hang from the ceiling or walls
  • Keeping small items away in bins or boxes and organizing and labeling the bins
  • Using darker bulbs instead of bright bulbs
  • Using blackout curtains or sunshades to minimize light

7. Give your child time to recover

Children Playing With Wooden Sensory & Tactile Puzzle

Going through bouts of sensory overload can be exhausting, and it can take minutes to hours to fully recover from an episode.

Sensory overload can stress your child out, and it’s important to understand that. Your child may want to count to ten, listen to music, watch a calming video, or simply take some time alone. Whatever works best for your child is the best way for them to recover. Realizing that they need this time to destress will reassure you that your child will be back to himself in due time, making walking away easier for you to do.

8. Medications

Although less commonly used to treat sensory overload in children with autism, medications can prove to be very helpful in dealing with symptoms.

Antipsychotic drugs such as Abilify (aripiprazole) and Risperdal (risperidone) are sometimes prescribed to reduce aggressiveness and irritability.

And, if your child displays signs of ADHD, drugs like Strattera (atomoxetine), Ritalin (methylphenidate), and Tenex (guanfacine) can also be prescribed.

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Conclusion

If you’re a parent whose child with autism is experiencing sensory overload, it’s perfectly normal and okay to be concerned.

However, your child’s life doesn’t have to be defined by this fairly common condition, thanks to the many coping strategies you can employ. Whenever you do things like looking for signs of distress, taking special care when socializing and going out in public, reducing your child’s visual stimulation, and giving them time to recover, you’re bringing your child closer to living a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Interested in helping your child with autism and improving their quality of life? Contact Circle Care so we can discuss what your child needs to develop and grow. Also, join our email list and learn some of our tips, tricks, and helpful information about ABA and parents with children with autism.

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How Does My Parenting Style Affect My Child’s Behavior?

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There is no guide or manual when it comes to raising kids. There may be blogs, books, and websites full of tips and tricks, but at the end of the day, it boils down to two things – who we are as the parents and who our child is.

Whatever the case is, one thing is for certain: parents always do the best they can with the very best intentions for their child.

Father Laughing And Reading A Book To His Daughter

Some psychologists recognize that the parent/child relationship can be bidirectional – meaning the child can influence the parent’s style of parenting. This is even more true when raising a child on the autism spectrum. Why? Because the unique challenges that come with parenting a child on the spectrum can cause you to adjust your way of thinking.

Parents of children with autism spectrum disorder often go against their parental instincts to handle challenges such as communication struggles, lack of reciprocation, and what is needed to handle meltdowns and overstimulation.

You Can Stay True to your Parenting Style

Although it may not always feel like it, parents can incorporate their instincts while offering the necessary support and tools to ensure their child’s best possible success.

Understanding behavior is a cornerstone of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). It makes sense that the way we interact and respond to our children plays a big role in how our child will behave. Our parenting styles and behaviors vary according to our personalities and backgrounds, but there are strategies available to suit each unique dynamic.

In this article you will learn how to stay true to yourself by incorporating ABA techniques that will make your parenting style work for your child on the spectrum despite the challenges.

What are the Different Parenting styles?

In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrid published a paper that outlined three prototypical parenting styles and their association with a child’s development – permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative. In 1993, researchers Maccoby and Martin added a fourth style – the neglectful/uninvolved parent.

Since then, depending on where you look, many subcategories have been added, such as attachment parenting, competitive parenting, and the helicopter parent. But for this article, let’s focus on the core styles that Diana Baumrid first identified, as they are recognized and respected today.

Let’s break down the key features of each parenting style. We should also consider that often mom and dad may have different parenting styles from each other and try to work to blend the two and find a balance – sometimes easier said than done – but it is possible in a healthy relationship with lots of communication.

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Permissive parenting

Permissive parents make few demands and are highly responsive to their children’s needs and wants. They exhibit a lot of warmth, are highly nurturing, and because of their less controlling mindset, they tend to allow their children to solve problems on their own. While this can be beneficial, overly permissive parents can raise bossy children, who have difficulty conforming to social norms, and are highly impulsive

In our modern world, permissive parenting is much more common than when our parents were growing up. There is much more focus on seeing children as individuals and holding discussions rather than listing commands. However, permissive parenting comes with a string of positive and negative consequences. When permissiveness is extreme, it can result in unruly children with no boundaries..

Very often, this is a style that many slip into, even if it is not instinctive when raising a child with ASD. We want to engage and support our child in every way possible. We want to communicate, so even negative feedback from the child can sometimes seem like a win. When we recognize that overstimulation and a meltdown are beyond discipline, we can practice being permissive to avoid getting there in the first place. For example, when you know that insisting your child eats their vegetables is going to result in three hours of mayhem, it’s easier just to say, “Okay, you can leave them for today,” even when you feel very strongly about their nutrition.

It can be tricky because, as we know, very often children on the spectrum aren’t given enough credit for what they are capable of achieving. Children with autism can accomplish a great deal with proper support and encouragement; On the other hand, if they don’t have clear expectations and boundaries, they find it hard to live up to them. Setting the bar too low with inconsistent expectations is unfair.

ABA Tips For The Permissive Parenting Style

ABA techniques are proven to help children learn and navigate their world. The parent/child relationship is crucial to ABA success.The skills that are uncovered through ABA spill over into all of the child’s relationships and interactions.  ABA strategies can be incorporated into any interaction including parent-child interactions between. If you can do this you will engage in more positive interactions with your child while staying true to your intuitive parenting style. You want to engage with your child as much as possible and enjoy your time with them. There are strategies that will allow you to do this while maintaining structure and boundaries.

Pairing

Pairing is an ABA strategy used by behavior technicians to build a relationship of trust, and it can be adapted to the home environment. Pairing is an excellent way for permissive parents to meet their own need to nurture and engage. You can connect with your children through their favorite things and activities; when your child associates your time with them with their interests or favorite activity, they are more likely to comply with directions from you later on.

Mother And Father Overwhelmed With Parenting On A Couch With Children Running Around Them

Pairing encourages connection and allows for opportunities to model and reinforce appropriate behaviors. When your child is not complying, you can subtly withhold the high-interest activity until they are ready to try again within the set boundaries.

Planned Ignoring

Planned Ignoring is a non-confrontational method that can also help prevent unwanted behavior. Often a child will act out for attention – even if it is negative. A lack of reaction can extinguish the behavior without any direct authority.

Authoritative parenting

Authoritative parenting is a kind of happy medium between permissive and authoritarian parenting. And while our instincts and personalities will place us firmly in one of the categories, it is not rigid. We tend to flow slightly across the lines depending on the situation, mainly if it regards what we feel strongly about.

Authoritative parents maintain appropriate boundaries and have a few rules that are not negotiable. However, they are nurturing and open to communicating with their child about how they feel about boundaries, rules, and decisions.

Authoritative parents are supportive yet realistic. They encourage their children to be independent and autonomous, resulting in self-confident kids who cope well in social situations.

It sounds like bliss, doesn’t it? Well, not necessarily. Each style offers its rewards and challenges. The challenge with authoritative parenting is that you have to be consistent. When children rely on structure, boundaries, and routines, they can become overwhelmed and confused when the goal post is moved – even more so for children on the autism spectrum.

ABA Tips For The Authoritative Parenting Style

Your child relies on you for guidance in understanding what is expected and what the boundaries are. Authoritative parents are clear in what they expect but communicate their expectations calmly, without rising to anger.

Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is an ABA strategy that focuses on what the child is doing right and far outweighs the focus on the negative. Discrete Trial Training offers positive reinforcement without fanfare when the child complies and behaves in an expected way.

Chaining

Chaining is an ABA method, which breaks the steps of directions into instructions that link to each other, allowing your child to complete a complex task that they otherwise would have struggled to complete. 

When you need your child to comply, but give too many instructions at once, it can overwhelm them and make them withdraw. When the expectation seems too much, implement chaining to maintain a calm approach, but break the expectations into small chunks.  Your child is far less likely to feel overwhelmed and more likely to comply.

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Authoritarian Parenting

In its extreme form, authoritarian parenting is based on the old adage “children should be seen and not heard”. It is a top-down structure, where the parent commands and the child obeys. It can lead to insecurity, low self-esteem, and anxiety, leading to aggression, emotional outbursts, and depression.

But as I mentioned, this is the extreme, and we tend to incorporate elements from the different parenting styles into our daily lives but tick more boxes in one over the other. Our upbringing can profoundly impact our parenting styles, and the authoritarian parents of yesteryear didn’t have the insight and support that we have at our fingertips. As a result, many of us raised in authoritarian homes become overly permissive, as if trying to compensate. And that is also not ideal.

Parents who are more prone to being authoritarian need as much structure, routine, and boundaries as they feel their children do – but the style can be subtle and not necessarily without warmth, affection, or nurturing of any kind.

ABA Tips For The Authoritarian Parenting Style

It’s not easy to maintain this parenting style when autism is thrown into the mix. Any parent with a child on the autism spectrum knows that barking orders and raising your voice can be a recipe for disaster. So instead, look for ways to stay true to your value system while still providing a safe, nurturing environment for your child.

Noncontingent Reinforcement

Noncontingent reinforcement is an ABA technique that implements structured behavior modification methods. The aim is to reduce challenging behavior and non-compliance in children with ASD. You provide a sense of security by being pre-emptive and providing positive reinforcement without requiring strict orders or commands.

Mother And Father Reading On A Couch To Their Two Children Between Them

When giving your child noncontingent attention, they don’t need to do anything to earn the reward or attention. It’s not linked to a specific action, like tidying up their toys or feeding the dog. It is a wonderful way of letting the child know they deserve attention and rewards just because. And because it is not reliant on you giving specific instructions or commands, there is no pressure on either side to comply. It goes a long way to quelling anxiety and preventing undesirable behavior before it starts.

A schedule of reinforcement can also go a long way to help with your own need to plan and maintain routines and predictability.

ABA and the Parent-Child Relationship

The parent-child relationship is essential to ABA and benefits both parent and child, helping build and nurture a positive relationship.

Circle Care Services’ ABA technicians work with parents individually and with the parent and child together. This can help parents understand their parenting style and discover strategies to ensure the best possible family dynamic.

Get The Support You Need!

If you need support in balancing your parenting style with your child’s needs, Circle Care Services in New Jersey and Massachusetts is here to help. We can help you stay true to yourself and your intuitive parenting style while maximizing your child’s development. In addition, our staff is equipped to help your child and your family with communication, social skills, behavior concerns, and parent training. 

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