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The holidays are upon us and we are buzzing around trying to prepare in advance to make all of our gatherings a joyous time to remember. For families who have a child or children with autism, there is a lot more to prepare in addition to the usual food preparation, gift-giving, and calendar setting.
Families who have a child or children with autism have the added task of making sure that everything that they do, eat, or attend to is something that can be enjoyed (or at least tolerated) by their child and by all of the members of the family.
This is no easy task.
Top Ten Sensory Triggers For Children With Autism During the Holidays
With all of the unpredictability and change of routine from the norm, you can expect that there will be some challenges for your child with autism.
Children with autism are fond of predictability and routine because they find comfort in knowing what to expect. Children with autism tend to have extremely rigid and inflexible behaviors and preferences, and any disruption in their routine is usually a catalyst for negative behaviors to surface.
However, this is also an opportunity for you, as a parent, to teach a bit of flexibility and perhaps encourage your child to accept the element of surprise as relatives arrive, gifts are exchanged, and school is on the back burner in exchange for holiday plays, travel, or community events.
This is an excellent time to work on social skills, being out in the community around unfamiliar people (or places if you are traveling), and being exposed to new foods, new sights, and new sounds.
The important thing is to be aware of your child’s stress signals so that you can redirect the child away from the stress, change the environment, or intervene in a way that reduces the stress. By responding to these signals (identifying triggers of behavior) in the early stages, you are helping the child to learn how to respond appropriately and you are helping to avoid extreme responses like tantrums and meltdowns.
Here are the top ten triggers that can affect your child during all of the holiday activities and some simple suggestions for monitoring their well-being.
1. Noise:
Does your child have sensory overload when they are in crowded or loud places? Watch your child for signs that the surrounding noise is starting to irritate him/her- signs such as placing hands over the ears, rocking, trying to leave the area, anxiety, or crying. Plan events that are within their level of tolerance for noise when possible.
2. Strangers:
If your child is not comfortable with strangers, it would not be the best idea to attend an event where you must leave your child in an unfamiliar child care setting. It is also not the best time to invite an unfamiliar babysitter to your home for the first time while you and your spouse go out for a holiday date. Plan ahead for such things by inviting a new babysitter over to visit, so your child and the babysitter can get to know one another.
3. Pace:
Keep in mind that any change, big or small, can often be difficult for children with autism. Packing the day with one event after another or participating in anything that moves quickly from one task to the next can result in a child’s refusal to participate to a complete meltdown from being overwhelmed. Plan events at a relaxed and healthy pace.
4. Proximity:
Teach your child with autism that it is okay to speak up if someone is standing too close and making them feel upset or uncomfortable. Give them some helpful statements that they can use such as, “Pardon me, I’m going to stand a little further back. I’m not comfortable standing so close.” Teach them to use a polite tone when asking for distance from another person. Social skills are important!
5. Change of Routine:
Sometimes the unexpected occurs and we need to change our plans. As much as you can, try not to upset any plans that you have already discussed with your child who has autism. Children with autism try to prepare themselves in their own minds for the next thing on their list of events. When that changes, it can cause major upset for them. If change is unavoidable, make sure you discuss everything fully with your child and equip them with various ways to adjust to the change. For example, show them a calendar and explain that the original plans can be moved to another day. Or, explain the benefits of the new plan and emphasize the positives rather than the negatives.
6. Capacity:
Know your child’s limits. If they are only good for an hour or two of being around a lot of people, try not to plan an all-day event. If they don’t like a certain food, find a restaurant that has a lot of options so that they can enjoy something that they like. If they experience anxiety in a crowded place, plan your event on a day or time when the crowds are more sparse. As much as you can, keep things tolerable for your child so that they will enjoy themselves and be more flexible about trying new things in the future.
7. Stressful situations:
If there is any type of stressful situation happening, make sure that you check in with your child both physically and mentally. For example, if another child is hurt at the park, be sure to stay with your child and then discuss what happened. Keep them safe and explain the circumstances. Assure them that the other child will be okay and praise them for staying calm or staying near you.
8. Chaos:
Usually, chaos is something that is hard to prepare for. For example, you witness a traffic accident and you are stuck in traffic while the ambulance, the police, and various onlookers run about and attend to the drivers in the vehicles. This can be scary for a child. Reassure them and talk to them. Explain what is happening and use the opportunity to teach them about helping others. Do whatever you can to keep anxiety down.
If it is possible to prepare for chaos (ex. A fire drill at school)- be sure to fully disclose all of the details of what is going on and appropriate responses. This is also a good time to discuss other options like earplugs, fidgets, or whatever sensory tools your child with autism needs to calm anxiety.
9. Being Ignored:
Nobody appreciates being ignored. However, children with autism can display extreme behaviors if their warning signs for stress are not heeded. If you are too busy to notice pacing, rocking, vocal sounds, hair pulling, or any other known triggers- then it shouldn’t surprise you when the end result is a tantrum, destruction of property (tearing paper, throwing objects, etc), or eloping (leaving the area). Make sure to check in on your child’s emotions and respond appropriately when you see the warning signs. Try not to let your child get to the point of no return. It is better to catch stress signs early.
10. Boredom:
Many children with autism find it soothing to have something to focus on when they are exposed to new settings or people. Make sure to provide your child with something that they can occupy themselves with during these times. Most children with autism are visually stimulated, so the tablet is almost always a winner. For other children, having a snack available, or a book or drawing pad and markers is enough. You know your child best. If you want to keep them calm, it is always best to have something available to them to keep them distracted from long waits, boring adult conversations, or tasks that don’t interest them.
Always Be Prepared
Advance preparation is your new best friend. Knowing what your child with autism likes and doesn’t like, what they can tolerate and what simply won’t work out with them is essential to keeping all participants happy.
Being aware of your child’s emotional status is also part of keeping everyone happy and peaceful. There will be days when even your child’s most preferred activity has worn on them and they are “done”. Being able to read those cues and transition away from stress to calm is a skill that you will want to master as a parent of a child with autism.
Circle Care Services is an ABA agency in New Jersey staffed with highly skilled professionals who can help you to learn the skills that you need to help your child with autism.
Your child will greatly benefit from learning new behavior skills and new social skills that will equip them for life.
Call us now for a consultation.
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